Whatever that happened around me, did affect me, no matter how much I think I am immuned to it.

I thought that I am not staying with my mother since year 2001, and her moving to a new house with my second brother is ok for me, and won't affect me much. But what happened is not what I expected. When they moved into the new house on Saturday, which is about a 20 minutes to half an hour drive from where I am staying now, I felt certain kind of lost and uncertainty. It is as if some part of me is being ripped away.

I never thought of I will be having that kind of feeling. I always think I will be fine. When things didn't happen, I won't know. Maybe this is a lesson that I need to learn, never ever judge too fast before I really experience it myself. Maybe it is also a good way for me to realise how I have cheated myself all the while with my hard shield and pretentious of nothing is going to affect me. What a stupid egoic attitude.

However, because of that, I come to appreciate those who are present in my life, like my brothers and sisters. I come to realise that they show me a gift with their presence. Each one of them, come with a beautiful gift that is waiting for me to recognise and appreciate of. Without this incident, it might took me longer years to notice it. But now, I am in deep gratitude for what is there for me.

There are always some lessons that come with changes. With awareness, willingness and readiness to see, I will be able to receive all the gifts there is for me.